Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
