I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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