Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just pee around me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
