I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
