he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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