I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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