I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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