sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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