Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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