The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
