The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
