There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
