i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
