Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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