I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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