Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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