The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
