I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I could make wine with my vomit
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
