that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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