I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
