Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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