Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
