i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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