I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize