I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize