you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize