my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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