Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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