why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You may now shotgun with the bride
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
