we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
