They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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