epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
3 2 1 whiskey
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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