drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
