We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
