Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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