Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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