You're so nebulous sometimes
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
