I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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