we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
