Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
