I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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