I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
