he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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