$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
