I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
