we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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