Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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