I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
