remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
