Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
