if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
