in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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