We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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