I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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