So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
