I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
