wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
